Last chance to party (before I take over the Universe)…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Festivus for the Rest of Us.”

Surrender puny humans...I'm the boss now!

Surrender puny humans…I’m the boss now – see I have sharp teeth and everything!

Supreme Ruler of the Universe? Me?  Ah shucks you guys you shouldn’t have!

Let me premise this post by saying if I was given the illustrious post of SRotU I am pretty sure it wouldn’t be long before I was tempted to the dark side.  Like Anakin Skywalker before me I think power could very well turn me in to an evil overlord albeit without the headgear.  That being said I would have a lovely party for all before being ‘turned’ as it were.

Date:  May the 4th would be appropriate what with the Star Wars reference, however I think I would probably go late September/early October (okay okay if I really have to pick a specific date then I’ll go for October 2nd).  The weather should still be nice without crazy summer heat, and as the night cools we could have a giant bonfire.

Decorations: Bunting, flowers, streamers, Chinese lanterns, balloons etc. – the more colourful the better.  Everywhere should be packed to the rafters with decorations – although not too close to the bonfire as pretty much all of the above are a fire hazard.

Events:  A giant festival for the entire universe is going to have to cater to a lot of different tastes (no pressure there then).  That thought in mind there would be a massive bouncy castle, a giant ball pool, a bar (obviously), a roller rink and a petting zoo (flying unicorns are a must – I figure there has to be somewhere in the universe that rents these out).  Also needed is a ‘bah humbug’ area for those who don’t feel like celebrating a day of me (might need to make it a big area especially after I go all evil and stuff).

Foods:  All foodstuffs are welcome with the exception of:

  • black/white pudding
  • tripe
  • offal
  • oysters
  • custard
  • salmon

These evil foods have no place in my Universe and would be banished for all eternity (I doubt there would be a black market for tripe – if there was I would have no choice but to resign as SRotU because of the shame).

Oh, and there would need to be a cake…a big one…full of chocolate …mmm chocolate [wipes drool from mouth].  Sorry what was I talking about again?


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